“So… you mean to tell me, that EVERY year… for the past 13… you and a dozen or so of your closest buddies get together, and get drunk while playing [insert air quotes] “sports” for THREE straight days??,” he asked with an incredulity that was palpable.

“Yup,” I dryly replied. “I mean, obviously, it’s changed a little now and again over the years. We’ve added a couple of events, moved locations and changed some players, but… for the most part… it remains as it was in the late ‘90’s: a tournament of sports that, not only can be, but are ENCOURAGED to be played with a beer in your hand. Remember, this was back when we were still punks, only the verge of being men. So, of course, a party atmosphere was essential.”

“It was a convenient excuse to remain young,” I continued. “To make sure that we celebrate our immaturity EVERY year, no matter how serious our lives had gotten. Because, we recognized when we were young, how quickly that seriousness can take over your life. We knew that as long as we held onto that youth for at least one weekend a year, we’d stay young forever.”
“…a modern day Peter Pan?” he quipped.

“Yessssss,” I replied, sinister as Captain Hook condemning The Pan to death.

“Well,” he inquired. “What about all the ‘Wendy’s’ at home? They let their husbands fly to Neverland by themselves for an entire weekend?”

“Heh, heh, heh. Another thing that we learned early on, was that the only way to keep our wonderful new tradition, was to involve the family in some way,” I quickly injected.

“The events on Friday are held mostly at a bar, so friends and family filter to and fro. And we turned Saturday into a picnic/family reunion-type atmosphere, where anyone is invited and there is plenty of room…open fields all around… and plenty of food & beer…the grills and coolers stay busy all day.”

“But,” I qualified. “Sunday golf in 100% US. That was our “ace chip” in the Great Bargaining. It’s just us guys out there on the course… reflecting on the previous two days and bringing up classic moments from years and years past. Laughing so hard you can’t swing your club. Smiles so big, you’re blinded by sunlight AND teeth-light.”

A stern look came over my face and my eyes glossed over a bit as I waxed “But…the highlights of the round and the entire weekend are the 17^th and 18^th holes, when the sun is finally sliding downward from its sizzling perch directly overhead. You’ve finished this fantastic marathon of endurance and liver tolerance. A calmness comes over you and you’re filled with such a sense of accomplishment and camaraderie, it’s almost spiritual.”

“If just for a moment, time ceases to exist; youth reigns eternal,” I finished.

A bit dramatic, I know.

But, tell a friend about our wonderful tradition. And I bet you get a similar response, if not so verbose, because, what we have is amazing.

And, guess what? It’s that time of the year again.

Time to start talking smack.

Time to brush up on our drinking… er ...playing skills.

Time to turn in your RSVP to ensure *YOUR* place… in the greatest tournament… in the history of mankind… that decides the champions… of the world!! (or at least to be hammered drunk for 36+ hours)

 

This year, as last, the RSVP will be $175.

 

Last year, we bought a WONDERFUL, new croquet set and a couple of us busted our butts to re-sod the horseshoe pits. The grill that was purchased the year before was a fantastic addition to family day and made cooking a breeze.

We switched to a bowling alley without a bar and brought our own beer to Nesbit’s lanes. All of the feedback that we received denotes this as a success. Friday night darts were played at Kinloch Fire Hall, which was also well received. So, these new traditions will continue.

We had talked about getting a new t-shirt made as well, but this never made it to fruition because the surplus in funds wasn’t quite enough.

Next year is our 15 year anniversary. So, we need to ALL voice our opinion on what to do to make it special. The 10 year dookie was unbelievable, with a spectacular firework display by papa hare as its signature moment.

I know that more than a few of us need new shirts. The question is whether to get one this year or wait for the 15 year anniversary. Also, we need to think of a special gift that we can get everyone for the anniversary. The steins that we all received for the last one were celebrated and I think most of us still cherish ours.

AND one last thing. The Dookie Mugs (…all hail the mug!!) are almost out of space to engrave our beloved champions’ commemorations. Idea’s are welcome in this area as to what should be done. We could get new ones and “retire” the originals. We could spend A LOT of money on adding rings a la the Stanley Cup. Or we could discontinue the practice?? Like I said, ideas are welcome.

As far as trends go, Petzel hasn’t lost at darts since 2007 (though, he didn’t play in the ’09 dookie, still, 3 out of 4 is special). Sean has won croquet for the past 2 years in a row. Dan has won golf 2 years in a row. Horseshoes is dominated by Stump, O’Toole, Rorge and Sean, with Stump winning the last two years in a row. Bowling is dominated by Dan, Marshall and Petzel, but no running trends. O’toole is the one recurring name in euchre, but this is our most inconsistent event.

The Dookie Tournament XIV

July 6^th, 7^th and 8^th.